The Washington Post’s “Style Invitational” column once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:

Intaxication

Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation

Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone

The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Cashtration

The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti

Vandalism spray:painted very, very high.

Sarchasm

The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

Inoculatte

To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis

Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis

A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Dopeler Effect

The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Caterpallor

The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.

I got this in an email. The Washington Post does have a weekly column, now on Saturdays, called “The Style Invitational”. Archived columns are available online by purchase. Being cheap, I therefore do not know if the above is quoted correctly, if it is a merging of “the best” of several similar columns, or if it was merely inspired by the column.